Imagine someone you know has sent you a text message at 1:00 a.m. that says, “Do you ever think of me?”
How do you respond?
I’ve spent so many afternoons curled
up in bed, trying to figure out why
I let you ruin all my favorite songs
while I listen to yours. I looked for you
in everyone that I met hoping it would
make me feel less vacant and now I see
how unfair that was to everyone who wasn’t
you, because there wasn’t going to be another
you, and when I figured that out I searched for
what you weren’t, convincing myself this is what
I had to do to get over you and I’ve spent what
feels like decades apologizing to the hearts
I’ve broken because that was unfair too. I looked
into eyes, laid upon a chest and heard a voice 3
octaves deeper than yours and it was still
no match. It always came back to you.
No touch, no smile, no amount of libations or
2am embraces washed you away and I think
I’ve come to accept the discomfort of a broken
heart knowing no one is going to be you and
I’ve grown to love my afternoons.
(I never stopped.)